Be prepared for a long story.

As some of you may know, I'm nearly entirely deaf from one ear. It started off when I was about 3 or 4... my mum noticed me always switching the phone to my left ear because I couldn't hear much with my right ear. She knew I suffered badly from ear infections in my right ear (I even had pus coming out of my ear at some points) so thinking they may have been the cause, she took me to an ENT specialist, who confirmed this suspicion.

He did a hearing test for me, where you have to wear headphones, listen to tones being played at different pitches/volumes in each separate ear and press a button when you hear a sound. His results concluded roughly a 55% hearing loss in my right ear.

Now I presume throughout my childhood my right ear's hearing loss remained fairly constant at 55%. However, when I was 11-12, I started to get more into music. I never really liked music in my younger years but all of a sudden I started to love it. I began making music eventually, and listening to it more and more on headphones at a fairly loud volume. When I was in the van, or in the break, or waiting for lessons to start in the morning, or in a free period... I'd always listen to music. Headphones are known for causing hearing loss, but more on that later.

Nearly 3 weeks ago I started feeling an odd sensation in my ear. I felt as though I was in a plane that was landing and no yawning was able to get rid of the feeling. I started hearing everything a little more muffled than usual and it was really irritating. I scheduled an appointment to an ear specialist who was going to see me after the weekend (it was Friday at the time if I remember correctly) but I couldn't stand it any more so I just went to the regular doctor for a check-up.

He told me I had quite a lot of catarrh in my right ear and said that it's no wonder I heard everything muffled. He then prescribed two weeks of a tablets. That was cool with me. Tablets were hard to swallow but whatever, they did the job perfectly.

The following Monday, I went to the ear specialist. He did another ear test and to my dismay he said that since my last hearing test in 2004 my hearing has worsened. My left ear's hearing went down by about 5% as far as I know, and my right ear went from 55% hearing loss to 70% hearing loss.

This made me think; what if I'm starting to go deaf? Going deaf is pretty high on my "terrible things to happen to me" list. Music is a massive part of my life and I love making music more than any other hobby. Gaming's fun, writing/reading books is also great, programming/maths is something I enjoy too, but making music is just incredible. Going deaf would be horrible.

The specialist told me that the more hearing loss an ear has, the more it's prone to getting even more hearing loss. He also thinks that the culprit to my hearing loss was my constant usage of headphones. He said that it's very likely that listening to music on headphones for such a large amount of time may have affected my ears, and told me to stop using headphones or at the very least keep them at a very low volume.

To be honest I'm very much inclined to believe him because I used headphones for at least 2 hours per day on average. I had it at a pretty loud volume (not as loud as most teenagers but still loud enough to faintly hear what I'm listening to while I have my headphones on). So this is a message to whoever uses headphones a lot - stop. Speakers are a great alternative when you're listening to music (or making it if you're a musician). If you do use headphones, keep them low enough to hear a car's engine or the fan of your tower. Losing your hearing is not worth it.

So anyway, I stopped using headphones nearly entirely from then on - I just used them on rare occasions when I wanted to hear how a song of mine sounded in a different sound system. My time at school got a whole lot more boring from then on but I plan on downloading some books on my eBook and reading them at school when I have nothing to do, to pass the time.

After 2 weeks of those tablets, my hearing cleared completely and I was perfectly fine. Now, however, a few days after stopping the dosage, the irritation and slightly muffled hearing came back again. I had to go over to the doctor again and he told me that it's not a good idea to take the tablets he initially prescribed for a long amount of time because they can cause some side effects. He prescribed more tablets for me which I've got to take for six months.

So now, along with the fact that my hearing worsened (and may still be worsening), the catarrh probably came back when I thought I was rid of it and even though I don't like taking tablets much, I've got to take them daily for another six months (along with a nasal spray I have to use twice every day in the morning and evening).

Even though the doctor assured me that there isn't anything to worry about and there are always many more ways of getting rid of my ear problem, this has made me absolutely terrified of losing my hearing for good. I can't imagine life without hearing. I'd be deprived of nearly all of my hobbies, including gaming and of course, making/listening to music.

I've considered getting a hearing aid for my defective right ear (the one with 70% hearing loss), not because I actually need it since I can hear people speaking fairly well, but because I want to hear more. I don't want to have to ask people to repeat often since I didn't hear properly. I want multi-directional hearing - to be able to know where a sound is coming from. I don't want to have to stay at a particular place in class (front-right) just so that I can hear the teacher perfectly. I think a hearing aid might fix all these things.

That said, my parents said that sound through a hearing aid is different and the doctor told me that there isn't any need for a hearing aid right now, even though it's a possibility in the future.

Whatever the case, that ends my bigass depressing story. Hopefully my hearing won't get any worse.